When I was young, I can remember waking up in the morning many times and finding my dad sitting alone on the couch. Then he would tell us that he had to take Mom to the hospital, and she was going to be there for a while...and then he would manage to continue to run the household in a way that is just remarkable to me.
I remember being really scared when Mom would be in the hospital, but she always got better and came home, and in my innocent mind, it was just the way things were...but now I am older and have a family of my own. I have 5 children counting on me every day. I can't even imagine what my parents must have gone through every single time my mom got sick. I have since learned that my mom "knocked on death's door" many times...and there were several times when doctors didn't know if she would live. Our family counts it as one of our greatest blessings that my mom was able to live to raise her children...she passed away just weeks after my youngest sister's high school graduation. Of course, we wanted her for much, much longer...but we are so grateful for the time we had.
The thing that I want to remember is that my mom endured her situation with such grace and with such a positive outlook. I never remember her really complaining about not feeling well...but I know a lot of the time, she probably didn't. If she did mention her health, she quickly moved off of the subject and didn't dwell on it. She was not a complainer. She never talked about it not being fair. And she always just seemed so happy to be alive and to be able to experience life. Maybe it was because she had had so many close brushes, but she just had such a unique ability to be able to focus on what was truly important to her...the Gospel of Jesus Christ, her family, her friends.
When my youngest sister, Katy, was almost 4 months old, my mom got very sick and was in the hospital. I was only 5, but I can vividly remember my Grandma Betty and Grandma Thelma rushing up from Helper to take care of us 4 little ones. My mom had always breast feed and baby Kate was not going to have it any other way...no matter the challenges. It was the middle of winter, but at feeding time, my Grandmas would wrap Katy in her red "Sue Beck blanket" (Sue was a dear friend who gave her the blanket) and take the baby over to the hospital so my mom could feed her. Now that takes some commitment and endurance. In my mom's journals, she talks about how overwhelmingly grateful she was to still be able to feed her baby. That kind of example of sacrifice just blows me away.
At one point today, one of my children was crying because she couldn't find her gymnastics bag, another needed to be taken to softball practice, another picked up from swimming....yet another child was throwing a fit on the floor because he couldn't have a piece of candy...and I was precariously balancing the fussy, teething baby on the counter while I tried to make dinner. I could feel my frustration level rising...but then I thought about my mom. Most of the time I feel pretty great physically...and I still struggle to get through the day...a lot of the time, my mom didn't feel well at all and yet she endured. I took a deep breath, finished making the dinner, assured one child we would find the bag, rescued fit throwing child from the floor with promises of candy after dinner, saw hubby and child off to softball and loaded everyone in the car to pick up child from swimming. And I felt so thankful for my health, my strength and for the example I never forget of someone who truly endured.
1 comment:
Jamie, you had a wonderful example with your mom. And I know that you are doing very well with raising your 5 kids. We all have memories of our mother and sometimes wishing we had treated them differently. That's part of growing up I think.
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