February Memories: The Audition

When I was high school, I loved singing in the choir.  My mom also loved to sing and really loved watching each of us perform throughout our high school years.  During my junior year, it was time to audition for the next years choir spots.  Not only was I planning on being in the big main choir, but I had my eye on grabbing a place in one of the specialty choirs.  With my musical background and piano experience, I felt I had a pretty good shot of making it.  I will never forget the day I got the letter in the mail informing me I had made the main choir but not any of the other choirs.  I was absolutely devastated.

For days and days, I moped around the house and just felt that I would never get over the disappointment.  My mom did her best to cheer me and up and encourage me, but nothing worked. Then one day after I was crying to my mom about it again, she surprised me by bursting into tears, too.  Now my mom was a very emotional person, but generally she would just get teary eyed over things.  Seeing her sobbing really took me off guard.  And then she told me how she was just so sad for me and that there was just nothing she could do to make it better, and she would make it better if she could....I do not think she realized it at the time, but she did make things better, because she really got it.  She really understood and empathized with how disappointed I was...and then she told me to dry my tears, and move on enjoying the opportunity I had been given.  And that is what I did.  I am sure in her mind she may have been thinking that the whole choir thing wasn't really that big of deal ( and looking back it wasn't!) but she took the time to understand me by just crying with me.

A while back, one of my girls had a disappointment...instead of giving her a lecture on how it would all turn out for the better, I just let myself really feel her sadness (sometimes that is hard for me as I am not a terribly sympathetic person)...and we shared some tears together... and then we dried our tears and moved on...another lesson from my mama.  I am forever grateful to Mom...I just felt like she really got me, that she really understood me and was always there for me through thick and thin.  I think my siblings felt the same way.

(Now that the years have passed, we can joke about it now...my sister Mel really didn't have much of a desire to be in a specialty choir and tried out just for the fun of it...of course, she made it...and never was really sure how she felt about singing in that choir.  She and I always have a good laugh about that!  In this picture she is not in her choir dress, but it would have been taken around the same time)

February Memories: The Opportunity

My mom was really good at serving others but this experience is more about HOW she served rather than what she actually did.  We had a dear older couple in our ward, the Brinkerhoffs,  and they were really wonderful people.  I am not sure of all the details but as they aged, their health got very bad. Nina was blind and had lots of other trials.   More than anything else, they wanted to stay in their own home together, but the possibility was not looking promising.  I don't think they had family nearby and their needs were becoming greater.  There was something that had to be done several times each day (I think it was a blood test?), so my mom and her friends got together and organized forces.  They came up with a schedule where they would each go in and help this couple out with the test.  And that is just what they did!  I don't know how long it lasted but it was for a while, at least several months, maybe years.

But here is the important part....my mom seemed to find such JOY in this service.  She definitely saw the whole thing as a great opportunity.  I never heard her complain about it or act like it was an inconvenience.  I am sure it was very inconvenient at times. Instead, she always talked about the Brinkerhoffs with such love.  She felt that she learned so much from being around them and from being in their home.  Sometimes we would run errands, and she would say she needed to be back at a certain time for her responsibility.  But most of the time, she never said anything...she just went and did it.  I bet she didn't have any idea how much that example has impacted me in later years.  When I think of her service, I am reminded that often as we serve others, we are the ones who benefit the most.  I know that she certainly felt that way about this opportunity, and it is a great reminder to me as I serve my family and others.

(This picture was taken just a few days before I left on my mission when I went with my mom to say goodbye to this wonderful couple.)

February Memories: The Homecoming

Again, I think this is a memory that I have shared bits and pieces of before, but now I want to write it all down in one place.  Since the time I was very young, I wanted to be a missionary for my church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints)  It was something I always talked about it and looked forward to...and my mom was my biggest supporter.  She was just as excited as I was about my opportunity, and she helped me prepare to go in every way.  In May of 1997, I received my assignment to serve in Virginia for 18 months.  I was so excited!  That summer passed quickly and before I knew it, it was time to actually leave.  Reality hit hard...it was difficult to anticipate being away from my family and not seeing them for a year and half.  The only contact we would have would be through writing letters and phone calls on Christmas and Mother's Day.  Saying good-bye to my family, especially my mom, was one of the hardest things I have ever done. (And how did they do it with such brave faces?  I can't even imagine when this day comes for me with my kids!)  I entered the Missionary Training Center in August and then said my real good-byes at the airport about a  month later.

For the first few months, I was very homesick.  I remember at one point just lying on my bed in my little apartment and thinking for a second, "I don't think I can do this."  It was the only time I ever felt that way the whole time I was gone.  The work was hard and somewhat discouraging but I was fine with all of that...I just missed my family so much, especially my mom.  But then I remember just pausing and visualizing my mom and dad at home, praying for me.  And I knew that they were, and I felt such a connection...and I never felt that sadness again for the rest of my mission.  I could literally felt my parents supporting me across the country.  It was amazing.  Now that I am a mom I think I understand just a little bit.  Prayers from a mom for a child are just so powerful and certainly transcend distance.

My mom wrote such wonderful, cheerful, upbeat letters to me for my entire mission (I have to say that my dad absolutely did too, but that is a post for another time!).  She always kept me guessing because her letters never arrived on the same day of the week.  She always personalized her letters with fun stationery, bright envelopes, and stickers.  She would write just like she talked, so it was almost like having a conversation with her.  I can still remember several of the phrases or funny things she included.  She also loved to send newspaper clippings and pictures.  And always, always, her letters were filled with love for me along with her total commitment to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Those letters are such a treasure.

When it was time to return home from my mission in February of 1999,  my parents were originally going to fly to Virginia to pick me up.  But my Great Grandma Thelma died, and our plans had to be changed.  I was disappointed but knew that we could return at a different time.  Mostly, I was just so excited to come home and see my family.

Oh, I will never forget my homecoming!  February 11, 1999 (almost 16 years ago to the day!)  It was one of the most beautiful, most anticipated moments of my life.

But this picture...I loved it at that time...but it took on even more significance later...I still love to look at it and remember that exact moment of seeing my mom.....it was like I had never left and I was right back where I belonged...

And one day, I am going to have that moment again.  I don't know all the details or exactly what it will be like, but it is something I am anticipating with great hope and great joy and great excitement. It will be like we have never been a part.  One day!

(I love how my family had our house and yard decorated to celebrate my return!)

February Memories: The Surprise Party

I have written a little of this story before, but tonight I want to record it in its entirety.  In February of 2000, my mom was turning the big 5-0!  We had talked and joked about it but had not made any definite plans...until my mom's friend Marge got involved.  She decided to throw my mama a surprise party to celebrate her big day.  What I remember is that I had come home for the weekend from college and Grandma Betty was also up at our house.  On Friday night, we all loaded up in our car and headed to the Drommond's house.  Marge had told my mom that we were all going to go to an open house at Dave's work but Marge needed a ride since she had some "car trouble".  My mom was not an easy person to surprise, so our plan had to be intricate.  When we got to the Drommond's, Marge met us at the door and insisted that we immediately come in and come downstairs.  She said that her daughter Maele (one of my best friends) had sent something amazing from her mission, and we just had to see it!  My mom seemed a bit impatient (she thought we were going to be late for the open house), but we all piled out of the car and headed down to the basement, including Grandma Betty.

What happened next is something I will never forget!  When we got to the bottom of the stairs, everyone yelled surprise and there were most of my mom's very best friends.  Someone snapped this picture (I don't know who!), and it is one of my all time favorites!  I cannot tell you how many times I have looked at it over the years. The expression on Mom's face is total joy and excitement and happiness...and this is how I like to remember her.

We spent the evening eating, talking and laughing.  Those were my mom's favorite things to do!  She was definitely in her favorite element.  It was such an overwhelmingly happy night. I am not kidding when I say that everyone loved my mom...probably because she loved everyone.  They were all happy to come and celebrate her.  I wish we had more pictures, but we only took a few. The few we took are precious...her beloved friends and family gathered together to celebrate her.

How could any of us have known that just a few days later, she would become sick...and that this 4 month battle would be her last.  She passed away in June of that same year.  The people in these pictures stood beside us and in many ways carried us through that painful journey.  In life, there are often tender mercies...and surely this party was a tender mercy.  I still smile when I think of that night.  I am so grateful that Marge threw that surprise party.  There wasn't going to be another opportunity.

Recently one of my kiddos asked if they could have a Valentine's party.  I so badly wanted to say, "not this year...maybe next year when things slow down a little."  But I paused and heard myself say, "Sure, sounds fun.  What can I help you with?"  As plans for this party amp up, I have to keep reminding myself of my reply (and someone remind me of my happiness and joy next Saturday, ok?)  Throw that party!  Have a get together!  Spend time with those you love. I am so glad we had that final surprise party!

February: Stories to Tell

February has arrived bringing piles and piles of snow!  A huge storm arrived on Saturday night and lasted through Sunday.  It is the most snow I can ever remember receiving (in one storm) in Iowa since we have lived here.  The kids have had fun, and it is really beautiful.  But we are all looking forward to spring!

On Friday before the big storm, Ashton had her Eastern Iowa Honors Choir Festival.  I was able to go for the day and had such a wonderful time.  It is an outstanding event where select musicians from each of the area schools gather to learn and rehearse music with a guest conductor. The day culminates with an evening choir concert for the parents.  We are so proud of Ashton and how she excels in music.  Singing in a choir (especially one of this caliber) is a great experience and something she will remember forever.

When the big storm hit, we all hunkered down inside, grateful for a warm home and good food.  Church was cancelled so we had lots of time to relax, annoy each other (ha ha!), and enjoy the Super Bowl.

No school on Monday either so we had a neighborhood sledding party!  It was actually a beautiful day, very cold but gorgeous blue sky.  Good thing these kids like to play in the snow.  Even Luke would not be left out!  And Cole just loved helping Tod.  He is such a hard worker.

On another note...last February, I shared several memories about my mom since February is her birthday month.  I wasn't sure that I was going to do it again until last week.  I began reading through last years memories and also looking at old pictures.  For Christmas, my dad had all of our childhood pictures put on a DVD.  Talk about a priceless gift.  Several years ago, Chris and Marieta had scanned the years of 1976-1983.  Now with the new DVD we have from 1976-2001.  It brought me lots of happiness and joy...and I knew for sure that once again, I would be sharing some memories for the month.  It is so important to write things down! I do not have a great memory, and things need to be recorded!

I guess I was a little hesitant in some ways because these are my memories of my mom.  Everyone interprets experiences and stories differently and remembers things in their own way.  But I am going to push forward knowing that I want to share these stories for myself and for my own children...and for all others who may come along for the ride!  Hopefully, they will bring you some joy and happiness too!  I am not promising an entry for every day, but I am going to do my very best!  Stay tuned!

A Special Grandparents Weekend and a Birthday Party!

We were lucky enough to have Grandpa Steve and Grandma Cindy come up a couple of weeks ago for the long weekend.  And boy did we keep them busy!!!  I am not sure we could have crammed anything more into our time together even if we had tried.  We loved that they were able to bring cousins Kayla and Leah up too.  We all had a great time together.

Saturday was full of basketball games, and the kids loved having family there to watch them!
First off, we headed to Regan's game.

And then we headed to Jordan's game:

 The kids were troopers, but their faces say it all!

There was a little bit of snow and a little bit of time to play in it!

Then it was Cole's turn for basketball.

That evening, Ashton had her honors orchestra concert.  Tod stayed home with the six kids so Steve, Cindy and I could go and enjoy.  It was absolutely wonderful to see these talented musicians.  And Ashton was on cloud 9 having her grandparents by her side to support her.

 I love this picture.  My kids are so blessed to have grandparents in their lives.

We all slept well that night!
Sunday was a nice day to relax and attend church together.  Look at this group of kiddos.  They have such a good time together.  Love it when the cousins can hang out.

This guy be-bopped around all weekend enjoying all the attention!  You can't really see but in this picture he is wearing his cousin's high heels!

Monday was Martin Luther King Day so we took advantage of the day off school to have Jordan's birthday party.  It will come as no surprise that she wanted a sports-themed party at the church gym.  And it was perfect for her friends since they are all little athletes.  It was such a fun party- I think one of my favorites, but I always say that!  It was really simple but really fun.

We started off with some kickball, then relays, basketball, and dodgeball.  These girls play hard!

We were so happy that cousins and grandparents could join us!  A very rare treat!  We did not want to let them go back to Missouri.  We were so glad they came.

Of course, we had to have pizza.  The budget called for Little Caesar's but Grandpa Steve spoiled Jordan with one pizza from Casey's!

And you gotta have a doughnut cake!

It would not be a party without Jackie and Tanner...her favorite adult friends!  The girls loved having these 2 at that party.  They are so much fun.

All in all it was the perfect way to cap off a week of birthday celebrations!  Happy Birthday Jordan!