Memories for February: She never forgot where she came from...

My mom grew up in the small town of Helper, Utah....and boy, did she love that little place.  It had such a special spot in her heart...and as a result, I love it too.

My mom's dad (Nick) died when she was only 2 years old in a mining accident...so she was raised by her mom, Betty....and also lots of grandparents.  Betty's parents  (Grandma Thelma and Grandpa Gean) lived just up the road, along with her great-grandpa whom she called Grandpa Pa.   Her dad's mother and sister lived right next door (Grandma Frances and Aunt Mary).   My mom loved these people so much.  She had so much respect for them...and even when she grew up and took her own path, she always stay connected to her roots.

(Grandma Betty holding me and Chris, Grandma Frances in the back)

(Grandma Thelma's house...it was such a fun place to explore)

My mom had an older sister, Mickey Ann who she never knew but always remembered.  She died when she was just an infant.  I'm sure it was a grand reunion when those two sisters got to finally meet.  My mom absolutely adored her two brothers, Michael and Kirk.  Michael died in a car accident when I was only a few days old...and it was one of the greatest heartaches of my mom's life.  Sometimes, I would see her crying and when I asked her about it, she would tell me how much she missed Uncle Mike.  I can't wait to meet him.

Of course, her baby brother Kirk and his family (Jodi, Dooder and Heele) brought my mom so much happiness and laughter.  We have so much special memories of this Mascaro clan.  And I absolutely love to visit them in Helper when we make our treks to Utah.  My mom also had many other wonderful aunts and uncles whom she loved to spend time with.

(Mom with Kirk at his wedding in 1977)

Helper holds so many memories for me....when we were young, my mom would take us there a lot...as we got older and busier, it got harder to find the time, but she made it a point to find opportunities to visit even if only for a few days.  It was about a 2 1/2 hour drive from Bountiful, and we would always be so excited. As we would travel down the canyon on the last stretch of the drive, we would see the power plant off to the left and the waterfall off to the right (really just a trickle of water coming down the mountain!), and we would be bouncing in our seats with anticipation.  At Grandma Betty's, there were very few rules...we got to watch as much TV as we wanted, eat loads of candy, chew unlimited gum, play with cool old toys, stay up late and just enjoy life.  My mom always seemed so glad to be "home".  We loved to go bowling with our cousins and swimming at the wave pool in Price.  We would go on picnics in the desert and play outside all day long.  Most all meals were eaten together....always a big dinner and usually a big breakfast.  And we would sit around and talk and talk and talk and laugh and laugh and laugh.

 (Me, Cousin Dooder, Melissa, and Chris 1980)

(Getting ready to go on our annual Easter Egg hunt)

 (Dying Easter eggs 1982)

Last summer, when we visited Utah, we sat in that very house of Grandma Betty's and did the same things...we went swimming, we played, we took pictures on the big couch, we ate all together....and we talked and laughed.  We missed the family members who were no longer there...but it was so wonderful to spend time in my mom's little home town of Helper.  I can't wait to go back.

Memories for February: She Enjoyed!

One thing I have said before is that I had no doubt how much my mom enjoyed motherhood.  I am sure she had her ups and downs, but she had a special knack for really savoring the individual moments.  I think maybe it had to do with the fact that her health was always up and down...so she didn't take her time with us for granted.  I am sure that she often felt hectic and hurried...but I don't remember that about her...instead I remember her sitting and reading us stories (chapter books when we were older), lingering around the table to talk for a little bit longer, or taking time to stop and notice nature and beauty.

She loved our beautiful yard in Bountiful and was always mentioning what flowers were blooming or what tree was especially breathtaking.  Each year, she marked time with certain events...the blooming of the lilac bush, the peonies, the forsythia bush...she noticed it all.
I feel like I can almost remember this exact moment when we all laid out on the back grass in our pajamas on a summer morning.

Here we are working in the garden together.

My mom absolutely loved autumn time and found such joy in beautiful fall leaves.  She loved to crunch in the leaves while she walked. This picture was taken of Mueller Park Canyon where our family loved to picnic and hike.

 And our tree in front of our house.  I can still smell those fall leaves.  When I was serving my mission in Virginia, a package arrived for me one day...it was an envelope full of fall leaves from that very tree...my mom had sent me a piece of home.

 Most days, my mom was waiting for us when we came home from school.  If the weather was nice, she would be out on the front porch, watching us come down the hill...then there was a snack and time to look at school papers together.

I am sure times have changed a bit, but my life often feels hurried and a bit frantic.  When I think of my mom, I am reminded to slow down and enjoy things.

Today in honor of her, I tried to do that in the best way I could...when I took the boys grocery shopping, Cole and I took extra time to comb through the piles of hot wheels cars until we found just the perfect one...and his total excitement reminded me that so often, it is the little things that change the course of the day.  I pulled my pre-teen close to me on the couch and listened to the tales of middle school when I felt I should have been straightening up the house instead.  I held my clingy baby for a little bit longer and focused on him instead of trying to constantly multi-task.  My situation is different than my mom's, and my life will not be identical to hers...but I felt peace hoping that my kids will take from me one thousandth of the love and enjoyment that my mom gave to me.  She truly taught me that no matter the circumstances, life should be enjoyed and treasured.

Memories for February: She sang!

A few weeks ago we were sitting in church singing the opening hymn.  Caught up in the joy of the music, I was singing my heart out until one of my children gave me a sharp nudge in the side.  "Mom, " she said, "shhhhhhhh!  You are singing way too loud."  And all of a sudden I was transported back 25 years or so to a time when I said the exact same thing to my mom as we sat together in church.

My mom loved to sing.  And she would put her whole heart and soul into singing the hynms at church.  To this day, I cannot hear the hymn "Let Us All Press On" without thinking of her...and on the part where the sopranos come in with "Courage, for the Lord is on our side,"  it is almost like she is right there, singing along with me.

My mom always sang in the ward choir.  She absolutely loved it and rarely missed a performance or practice.  She hadn't had a lot of formal musical training, but she made up for it with enthusiasm and gusto.  If she was leading the music, watch out...because if you weren't singing, she wasn't above stopping and starting over so that you could join in.  Her very favorite calling (assignment) in the Church was Primay Music Leader, and it is the calling that she was serving in when she passed away.  She loved to teach children to sing.  Incidentally, that is the calling that I have right now...and I have absolutely loved being able to follow in her footsteps in that way.

My mom loved all kinds of music.  She supported all four of her children through many years of piano lessons.  She loved seeing us in the high school choirs and found so much joy in our experiences there.  She often said that if you wanted to be fulfilled, you should sing in a choir.  My mom loved jazz music (The Breeze 97.9 which I am told no longer exists?).  I can still see her cruising around town in our tan explorer with her jazz music on...and she was dancing...and we were rolling our eyes at our mom trying to be cool.  And now I do the same thing with my kids.  Love the memories.

(The caption on this picture from 1980 said, "Bringing the piano home"...I'm not sure where we got it from?  I'll have to find out more details)

One day, my mom and I are going to sing together again...and my kids better be ready because I won't be holding back, and we will belt out our hymns together in our loud, slightly untrained soprano voices...and it will be oh so beautiful!

(One more picture because it is so cute from 1982- Chris holding Katy, Melissa on the left in overalls and me on the right wearing an ET shirt)

Memories for February: She Remembered!

A short memory for tonight...but chances are, if you are reading this blog and you actually knew my mom, then she knew your birthday!  My mom had this uncanny ability to remember everyone's birthday.  It was really something...it seemed like most days, she would mention at least one person who had that birthday.  I don't know how she did it, but she knew everyone's birthday in the Bountiful 14th Ward (our church congregation).  She also knew all the cousins, aunts and uncles birthdays, too...and she would often mention birthdays of her family members who had already passed away.  Often times in the mornings when I would wake up, I would hear her on the phone wishing someone a happy birthday.  I know that she just felt that each person deserved to have their special day acknowledged and celebrated.
(My brother Chris's birthday party in 1976)

Of course, Mom always made our birthdays very special...her plans were not usually elaborate, but just simple and heartfelt and very much about the individual person.  I have sweet memories of the things she did to make our day unique...birthday dinners, customized cakes with funny messages (Baskins Robbins for me!), carefully chosen gifts...I have tried to share some of these same traditions with my kids....and when I remember to thoughtfully wish someone a happy birthday, I think about her.

(My mom's birthday in 1977...check out the tiny pink cake!)

(My dad's birthday in 1982...I know he was actually very happy about this birthday, but forgot to smile, right?)

 (Grandma Betty's birthday in 1982...cousin Heele wasn't born yet)

Memories for February: She Talked!

My mom absolutely loved to talk!  Almost anyone could tell that upon first meeting her.  She could talk to anyone anywhere about almost anything.  Wherever she went, she would find people to chat with.  When she went to the store, she would always see lots of people that she knew (or didn't know!).  Those "quick runs" to the store were never really quick!  I remember we would sometimes say to her (after waiting out a lengthy conversation), "Mom, who was that?"  And she would say, "Oh, I don't know, just someone I met." And then she could tell you their life story.

When I was younger, I didn't really appreciate her "visiting" talent..but as I got older, I recognized it for the true gift that it was.  She loved people and just loved to connect with them by visiting together.  In any situation, she would find a way to find out about the other person.  She loved to talk to older people, teenagers, young children...people who were like her and people who were very different.  I remember that she taught me such a great lesson...if you are good at asking other people questions, the conversation will never drag and there will always be something to say.

She loved to talk to us.

We spent hours and hours and hours around our kitchen table or out on our back patio just talking.  When she was gone, that is one of the things I missed (and still do!), the very most.  I have inherited her love of talking.  I love to visit and find out about people.  Earlier today I had to go to Walgreen's for a prescription.  I was in a hurry but of course, there was a problem with the insurance card, so I had to wait for quite a while....I thought about my mom...and I thought about what I was going to write today...and I struck up a conversation.  He was a truck driver in his 50's....he has been diabetic for several years but has to control it with only diet and medicine because if he took insulin, he would lose his job...he has 2 kids...he is disgusted with the costs of his medicine and health care in general.  I told him about my kids, my Utah roots, my feelings on the state of our nation.  And then our prescriptions were done, and we said a cheery good-bye...and I thought of my mom...and how I cannot wait for the day when we can sit down and have a nice, long chat about anything and everything.

(I chose this picture because it shows that back patio where we spent so much time just gabbing away...Grandma Betty is helping me hold the cake and Melissa is in the background...August 1981)

Memories for February: She Walked!

My mom loved to go on walks.  From the time I was very young, I can remember going on walks.  We had several different routes around our neighborhood depending on how long of a walk we wanted to go on...over to the junior high school, up to the elementary, just around the block...we went in all kinds of weather.  We went on lots of Sunday walks...usually in the late afternoon or evening.  It was just something we did on that day.  Sometimes we would bring a treat along to nibble.  I remember specifically graham crackers or candy bars!  We always talked as we walked...telling stories to each other all the time.  One time when we were teenagers, we went for a Sunday walk.  I remember walking along 400 East (most likely holding hands because we liked to hang on each other!) and we passed a guy from our ward.  I think he was on a motorcycle or maybe walking by too...but he pointed at our family and stated, "I'm jealous!"  We laughed about it for years...and considered it a high compliment, too.

My mom walked almost every weekday morning with her friends...we called them "The Walking Ladies" and the faster they talked, the faster they walked.  They also went out in all kinds of weather which I know was a sacrifice for my mom because she was always cold!  Those ladies were just the best.  They had all the information on everything and everybody, but not in a gossipy way, just in a caring way of making sure people and things were being taken care of.  I never realized how wonderful and therapeutic that must have been for my mom until last summer when I started walking in the evenings with a good friend.  Each day, I would look forward to our walks...a time just to talk and be understood and validated...I'm sure it was the same for my mom.

Now, whenever I go home to see my dad or my siblings, we go on walks.  I love to walk around the Provo neighborhood with my dad and Pat.   And when we vacationed last summer in Park City, we took walks.  I have walked with Katy in Texas, with Mellie in Tooele and when Chris and his family came here, we took a long Sunday walk.  My kids love to go on walks...and often when I go around the block, I think of my mama!  One day, we will walk together again.

(Katy and Sutton on a walk here in Iowa back in 2010)

(On a walk with Mel in 2007)

(Not a walking picture with Chris's family in 2012...but we went on a walk after we went to church!)

The Month of February and Musical Notes

I must explain the title of this post....First, today is February 1.  I know it sounds strange, but I really love February.  It is the month of love!  And Valentine's Day is one of my very favorite holidays.  As you may know, my mom's birthday is on Valentine's Day!  And so I thought that I would try and blog a memory about her each day leading up to February 14.  My girls are always asking about her and I wanted to record some of my memories for my family to enjoy.  So I will start that tomorrow!
Here is a picture from last Valentine's Day...I am glad that I feel a lot better this February...and that I have my baby Luke to enjoy this year!

And now for the "musical notes" portion of the title!  It has been an amazing musical month for Ashton.  First, she was selected to perform in the SEISTA Honors Orchestra.(stands for South East Iowa....)  She spent the day at a local high school with other students from the area...they practiced and rehearsed and then that night presented a fabulous concert.  She has excelled so much on her violin and really loves it.

Ashton was also asked to sing in the Southeast Iowa Youth Honor Choir which was held yesterday.  It was at a high school in a small town just up the road...and it was an amazing experience!  Ashton has such a great middle school music teacher...she really admires Mr. T so much, and he is just the best.  So he had asked a handful of his students to participate in this great opportunity...and I got to go along too!  (Thanks to good friends and Tod who pitched in at home to make it possible for me to be gone for the whole day!)  There were students from about 20 different schools at the event and during the last month or so, they had all been working on the same music.  Then they came together and worked all day to really polish the songs.  The evening ended with a spectacular concert.  I had brought a bag with me of things to read, but I ended up just sitting the whole day and watching everything that was happening and soaking it all in.  The director was amazing and the kids were so talented.  I absolutely love to see kids participating in music and finding joy in it.  There is such an energy to choirs.  It took me back to my days in choir which I absolutely loved!  The music that they performed was very diverse from a South African song to a Bolivian lullaby to Irving Berlin's "Play for Me a Simple Melody."  It was all wonderful.  And of course, a highlight for me was spending time with just Ashton, such a treat!  We had Subway for lunch and then went out to dinner at Pizza Hut with her classmates and teacher.  It was a very long day (9 AM- 8 PM) but so memorable and worthwhile!  I'm glad that Ashton loves music as much as I do!